To Worship or To Not Worship?

In large part, the lives of those who lived in 19th century New England included the church. In the village of Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts where my ancestors lived, there were several churches, with the Congregational Church and the Baptist Church being the most prominent during the nineteenth century. My family history coincides with the history of both churches in town. Through my great-grandmother Emma Field’s sister Ellen’s 1855 diary, I have learned that the Field family were devout New England Baptists. The New England Baptist church evolved from the disagreement 17th-century Salem, Massachusetts pastor Roger Williams had with the Puritan church regarding the appropriate age of Baptism. As a result, Williams removed to what would become Rhode Island to start the New England Baptist church there. Congregationalists evolved from the Puritan church; in 18th century New England, the Congregational Church was often led by strict and stern leaders. I am lucky enough to have an almost daily log of how often my great-grand aunt Ellen attended the First Baptist Church of Shelburne Falls in 1855, with a fascinating look at the struggle she and friends her age (in their late teens) had in deciding to “stand up.” I also have stories and church records surrounding my Merrill and Severance ancestors’ association with the First Congregational Church of Shelburne and the Congregational Church of Shelburne Falls, lending me insight into their religious history and the leaders they followed in the church.

First Baptist Church (left) and Congregational Church of Shelburne Falls (right)

Baptists did not believe in infant baptism, but rather thought that an individual should understand and choose the sacrament when they were old enough to make that decision. My religious journey growing up was interesting. My sister and I were dropped off (usually by my mother) at Dayspring Presbyterian Church in Yonkers, NY every Sunday morning. By dropped off I mean my parents did not go with us. Even at a young age, I wondered why my parents weren’t among the other adults in attending the weekly service. My dad was raised Presbyterian, my mom New England Baptist (always stress on the New England part). When I asked why they didn’t go with me, my dad made it clear that he had had his full share of church when he was growing up. My mom never really answered the question. I did once ask my mom what the difference between Baptist and Presbyterian was and the only thing I understood at the time was the difference in the beliefs on baptism.

In Ellen’s 1855-1857 diary, she mentions the word church fifty times, indicating when she attended church (often “through the day” or “three times today”) and when she did not. She was listening closely to the preaching, many times writing about the sermon topics and giving her own commentary. “‘Who then can be saved’ an earnest appeal to the impenitent-seems to me a heart must be of adamant not to yield at such persuasion as this” (30 Sept 1855) Later on March 23, 1856, Ellen struggles with her ability to be a good Christian, “Have attended church through the day-and listened t[o] heart appeals - O that I was more like my Heavenly Master - more like the meek and lovely Jesus - I feel I come far short of what I profess and if Heaven is ever my home twill be through the all sufficient merits of a risen Redeemer—” 

There was seemingly a lot of peer pressure among Ellen and her friends to “stand up” in church (to commit to be baptized). It is fascinating to see how Ellen struggled for the first three months of 1855 in making this decision. Her friends would walk her home, professing the reasons why she should stand up and commit herself to her savior. She very obviously could not wholeheartedly give herself to this idea at first. But after many conversations, and her friends very diligently pressing her, she finally did so on April 22, 1855.

‘Twas then I followed my Saviour through the liquid grace–Sabbath day, April 22, 1855..what a day it was to my soul..in the morning several times I went to the throne of grace + prayed for guidance..that He the Father our all world be with me as I went down to the water side..and there followed my Saviours command and I can but think my prayers were answered..many thoughts were mine as I stood on the banks of our little Jordan, and saw many friends with whom I’d traveled in the paths of sin and now I had come out on the Lords side..+ these the eyes of the world would ever now be on me to see whether I lived as I ought..and when I went down into the liquid stream I prayed in my heart that my life my all might e’er be consecrated to him then for my friends that it might make some impression upon their hearts that might be deep + lasting..from that moment it seems now if my spirit had taken its everlasting flight I could not have been more indifferent to what was passing round..for scarcely one brief moment it seemed I could already taste the joys of Heaven..I did not heed the pastors voice..I do not recollect as I heard him say but one word + that was “sister” and then again It seemed I was lost..my thoughts were far above the trifling scenes of earth..they soared far above this cold vain world + found a resting place with God–

Ira Merrill

Over at the Congregational Church there was never a question of Baptism; the ritual was completed in infancy and it was not a retained memory of the individual. While I don’t have a detailing of the day to day religious happenings of my Merrill and Severance ancestors, I do have church records and some interesting observations. At the First Congregational Church in Shelburne Center, the longtime (1799-1855) pastor was Theophilus Packard, Sr. In 1828, his son Theophilus Packard, Jr. was ordained and joined his father as a pastor at the church. As I mentioned in an earlier story, it was Rev. Packard Jr. who recalled a story about the town’s founder, my five-times great-grandfather Martin Severance’s capture by Indians and his removal to Canada in the mid-seventeenth century. According to church records, Martin Severance had been admitted to “full Communion” in 1774. On May 2, 1779, there is a record of baptism for “Martin Severance a man grown,” who likely referred to the son of the older Severance and my four-times great-grandfather. Why hadn’t he been baptized as an infant? Had the family not worshiped when he was young (likely not the case) or had they switched churches? Then there is a record on March 19, 1775 in which the older Severance and his wife Patience, “confeßs the sin of Fornication Old Folks Children married + ye have grand children or a grand child Baptized.” Really? The church made note of that as a sin?

Dolly Nichols Merrill

Years later on July 1, 1821, eight of the thirteen children of my three-times great-grandfather Thaddeus Merrill were baptized together. Two of the thirteen had yet to be born, while the oldest two were already adults of eighteen and twenty years old. Was the reason for the mass baptism that the Merrill family had not previously attended church or maybe had been members of the Baptist church? My two-times great-grandparents Dolly Nichols and Ira Merrill (Thaddeus’ second born son) were married by Rev. Theophilus Packard, Jr. in 1835, as was Dolly’s sister Olive when Ira first married in 1829. When Olive died at age twenty-one in 1830 of consumption, the church records indicate that she “Had a hope.” When Martin Severance, Jr. died on December 29, 1843 of influenza, the records indicate he was a “Venerable Christian.” These characterizations of the individual show insight into their personalities and offer their descendants more than dates and sacraments completed.

On a side note, I find the story of my family’s interactions with the junior Packard intriguing as he has become a notorious figure through the mistreatment of his wife, mental health and women’s rights activist Elizabeth Parsons Ware Packard. Her story has been widely shared through not only her own writings, but also through the recently published book by Kate Moore, “The Woman They Could Not Punish,” which details her wrongful commitment to an insane asylum in Illinois after the family moved from Massachusetts. I wondered as I read the story what had made them leave their Shelburne Falls parish. All indications were that the junior Packard should have taken over for his father, who died in 1855. I believe there was some mistrust in the congregation about his behavior. In a story in “The History and Traditions of Shelburne, Massachusetts” (1955) we learn that some in the parish took issue with the younger Reverend Packard.

“A typical example of the old time minister, austere in manner, scholarly, feared by the children, and respected by all.” Mr. Packard was in the habit of keeping his horse harnessed all the time, day and night. His parishioners considering it cruelty remonstrated with him, but to no avail. Finally one Saturday night the boys unharnessed the horse. On Sunday morning the minister was unable to find his harness until he reached the church where he found it in the pulpit.

Could this have been the start of the younger Packard’s cruel behavior which would later target his wife in place of his horse? Was this why he decided to take the family and leave for the midwest? What did my ancestors think and did they have opinions about this man? Did those opinions contribute to the departure?

Cruel and austere behavior aside, the light hearted side of the Congregational church shows through, this time in the second parish established in town, through the Cookbook of the Congregational Church of Shelburne Falls (published circa 1895) still occupying my kitchen shelf and containing many recipes from Merrill family members: Rosabella Merrill Carley’s ginger puff (a childhood favorite of mine), Olive Merrill Spellman’s Escalloped Potatoes, and Mary C. Merrill’s Boiled Onions. This was certainly a church of community and of sharing. Nowhere in the cookbook, however, is any recipe authored by my great-grandmother Emma Field Merrill. Did she stay in the Baptist Church after she married George, brother of Olive, Mary, and Rosabella? Did the family still attend church? Always more questions than answers.

Why did my parents not attend church when, at least on my mom’s side, there was seemingly great affection for the churches attended? I don’t know much about the worship habits of my grandmother’s generation. In all the letters I have, most are from her and her brothers from 1895 to 1915, writing back home…hundreds of letters. I don’t remember any mention of church or religion, other than my grandmother’s attendance at the Passion Play in Germany in 1910. Was the previous generation jaded? Did something happen to minimize their ties with the church? I know my mom did attend the Baptist church as a child, but don’t know much about her experiences, other than a Sunday School class photo I found. The one connection I can make is that my grandmother’s generation was the one that detached from the town, were all college educated, ventured to far off places, and all but my grandmother never looked back. Was the beginning of global travel and exposure to diverse people the reason for less focus on worship? I am sure it played a part.

I wish I could ask this group of characters—the ghosts in my family—how they really felt about the church, what it meant to them, and why they attended. Witnessing Ellen's journey peaks my curiosity. I will attempt to manifest the answers to my questions through research and continued questioning. For so long the church shaped the family, directed the family, and judged the family. Two hundred years ago it was the center of the community. When I was growing up, it was a way for tradition to be continued without too much commitment. Today I take stock in better understanding what my ancestors believed and try to process that in understanding myself. Because who they were, in great part, made me who I am.